By the way this really happened. Yesterday, walking to the tube station to get to work as I do everyday, feeling groggy and tired from the anticipation of possibly facing work cut backs, my head nodding in tune with my footsteps. I am looking at the passing squares of the pavement wondering if today is the day. Everybody else around is walking in the same direction and some probably faced with the same situation. I was dawdling, hopefully that will delay it, thinking about the responsibilities of the day ahead or lack thereof and how important these responsiblities are for some reason. I guess because it will make someone else money or maybe not much so these days.

Anyway the only thing that made me happy was the thought of a strong latte. I was in a pretty grumpy mood as you can tell. Finally I reached the gate and got ready to swipe my oyster card and annoyingly got bumped out of the way buy some lady who obviously had more important things to do as she was making lots more money for someone else than I was. Oh well, I will let this one go. I procede onwards as there is a strong latte waiting for me, oh, and of course possibly some work. Every morning I am greeted by the platform mosh pit. As the tube door slides open everybody shuffles with little steps, bumping shoulders, with eyes bulging and focussed on an any empty seat. As I shuffle into position, alas, the door slides shut and I have to wait for the next train. I dont really mind as it still amazes me how these trains run under the city getting millions of people from one end to the other. I think shuffling and bumping shoulders is absolutely fine if it gets me where I need to go.

The underground breeze signals the arrival of the next train. You can already sense the giddiness of people focussing on getting their morning seat. The door slides open and we all pour into the train and the seat fills up quickly except for one which is half a step away. Wow, maybe today isn’t so bad, I think I might have a seat for today. As I go for the seat, some lady, out of nowhere takes 2 steps, a sort of quick sprint or maybe a even a jump, just to get to the same seat. Everybody already sitting looks up at this confrontation of excessive effort, who is going to get the seat? Before a musical chair scenario happens and we sit on each others laps, looking like fools, we pause and stare at each other. Right, the battle of the sexes begins. This split second stand off feels like minutes, we lock our eyes and just like a spagetti western wait for the draw. She moves first, her weapon of choice, the trump card and gives me a little flirtatious smile. I just sit down, and think "is that the best, screw that!". The onlookers, I’m sure, mentally gasped. The flirtatious smile , dangerous for most men but not me, now turned into a glare.

The thing is I use to be chivalrous and open doors for ladies all the time as my folks rightly taught me. It use to be a delight and there would be an occasional thank you and that was that. Now days not so much. I mean the lady on the tube is not a granny, or a mom with an obnoxious tiresome child, she wasnt pregnant either or didnt have loads of shopping bags. In fact she had some fancy handbag, I know because my girlfriend’s hobby has lots to do with collecting handbags. As far as I can tell she was pretty fit, and seemed very healthy too, and mind you dressed to kill. But to hell with it, she can stand and I am going to sit,  I am not going to give up my seat because she is pretty. I am a little bit tired of men expecting to make extra effort as the thanks get less and less I find. Maybe its just me that doesn’t get a thanks. There are the basics of chivalry that never should die, pregnant women should always be offered a seat and shame on you if you don’t. And shame on you if you offer a seat to a woman who looks pregnant but isn’t. Men, I tell you this, dont give up your seats because a lady is pretty, or because you she smiled at you in a sexy way. If you give your seat to a smile like that, your’e a sucker, she will promptly sit down and read the news paper or even worse she will get her make up kit out while you stand. And you get to see her making a scary face as she does her eyeliner. Let her stand and do her eyeliner, she should have done it at home or at work anyway. Only give up your seat for a lady who deserves it, like a pregnant lady or a granny and of course if she is your boss. Make this a rule. It wasnt only the strong latte that made me happy that day.

I will continue to test if chivalry is useful, so ladies be warned, if I open the door for you or stand out of your way, its not because I want your attention or trying to flirt, I would prefer a simple thank you instead. A gesture is rubbish without a thanks. Take care.